The Saga Continues

The ongoing saga of my mystery respiratory illness continues.  It has been 5 looong months, and there doensn't appear to be any end in sight. 

It started out with a cold, a cold that didn't seem to want to go away.  my doctor told me, "Sometimes these things take time to clear up."  So I waited. It got worse.  At two months, I ended up in the urgent care.  Urgent Care doc diagnosed me with bronchitis, and pneumonia in my left lung.  He put me on a bunch of meds, ordered me to stay home for 2 days and scolded me for waiting so long to come in, especially since I have asthma and a history of respiratory illness.  I got a little better, but not much.  I saw my primary doc, who diagnosed "Reactive Airway Disease", took some xrays, gave me some more meds, and told me to give it some time to clear up.  Still didn't get better. Another visit, 1st round of steroids.  Didn't sleep for a week, and was generally unpleasant for at least 2.  Still coughing, continued shortness of breath.  Another dr. visit - we should just wait and see, he tells me.  Yeah, I think that is what we've been doing, and see how well that's worked out.  He put a "just in case" prednisone prescription on the books, and told me to call back in two weeks. 

I called on Monday, left a message.  Spent Monday coughing like crazy and completely unable to breathe.  Decided to start the "just in case" steroids on Tuesday.  I've been really careful about taking them super early in the day (like prior to 6am), which has seemed to decrease the sleeplessness (which I am guessing everyone is grateful for - let's just say I was a little unpleasant through that sleeplessness phase last time around). Sent an email to primary doc Tuesday. Still coughing, though the shortness of breath seems to be better for the most part.  Mornings and evenings generally suck, though I do have a stretch in the middle of the day when I feel pretty good, and can actually walk around without feeling like I'm gasping for breath.  Still haven't heard back from the doc.   

For obvious reasons, I don't have much confidence in my doctor at this point.  I have a respiratory/asthma specialist, but my primary has felt that this is a minor flare up, and doesn't require referral.  Which is easy for him to say, since he doesn't have to live with it.  I spent pretty much the entire summer doing NOTHING, because either I couldn't breathe or was exhausted from coughing and fighting for breath all the time.  I am so TIRED of being this way.  I don't have anything elegant or insightful to say about it.  I am sick of being sick. 

I have accepted that maybe this is the best we can do for now, and maybe more drugs or more doctors is not going to make things any better, and I just have to give it time.  My life has been restricted for past 5 months with this thing. 

What I have not accepted is that this might be the normal for me, that I might never go back to my old baseline.  I know there is a chance that that might be the case.  But I am just not ready to face that possibility yet.